Just the other day while I was doing some home school lessons with Anna and Jo...
The littles ventured up from the basement... They had completed spilled the stuffed animal container and came up with their arms full of the stuffed animals we received at Samuel's baby shower...
Levi has taken to sleeping with one every night:)
It is hard but interesting at times the road of life with a child in heaven...
My arms are so full these days... and I love these two sweeties sooooo much... I couldn't imagine our life without them... not even for a second...
But I still can't help but wish that Samuel was right here in the mix of things with the youngest 3...
Samuel and Hopie, both in Kindergarten... I know if he had lived Hope probably wouldn't have been ours... but in my mind I like to believe that God could have worked it all out for us to have them all if that had been HIS plan...
Just the other day while out for a walk with our neighbor we were talking about a pregnant friend of ours... and Jojo blurts out, "If this baby lives, will dad baptize it?" The neighbor looked right at me, eyes big... hard but true, these kids know not all babies live when they are growing... not all brothers and sisters get to come home with you... It wasn't even odd, it just flowed right out of him with the most innocent questioning heart... My sweet Jojo...
I love that Samuel is still a part of our everyday life... I love that Samuel has made the reality of Heaven a part of our everyday life, even for the kids... I love that the little kids include Samuel in their song at bedtime... I love that He is a part of us forever... But I still miss that sweet little pudgy faced, dark fuzzy headed little sweetie soooo much... Yet so incredibly thankful... The sacred dance of grief and joy....
God is good through it all...
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